*Results not Typical

*I want to be a asterisk!

If your like me you have done many weight loss programs. Usually when starting any weight loss program or even eat whichever program's food, it has a warning label attached, or maybe not so much a warning per say but a message stating they don't guarantee you results. Hence
*RESULTS NOT TYPICAL!

I've been "on" WW's for 2 1/2 years now. In that time I have been really close to being more then 100lbs lighter then my heaviest. I imagine I am actually more then 100 pounds lighter but back at my largest I didn't really weigh myself. But for WW's starting weight I have only lost 98 at my highest lost.
I've been wavering back and forth about 10 pounds for 1 year now. I am fitting better into clothes compared to last year and my fitness level is better but for some reason I can't break into that <*> category!
I have some sort of block, laziness, mind issue that just seems like I don't care or want to get under that magical #...

So I joined the gym again, since I haven't been hiking as much as I once was to justify not joining the gym again. Plus looks like the weather is starting to get icky so may as well get myself back into the habit of getting sweaty with everyone else.

Training for a 1/2 marathon and while I train I need to also lift weights and do other types of cardio and I think being a member of 24 hour fitness (you know the chain gym, the McDonalds of gyms) is going to help me achieve this.

I'll keep you all posted, yea whomever you are who actually reads my twisted sense of weight loss!

Its sometimes all about the company we keep....

In times when its hard for me its much more helpful to be around people who are also going to help me be strong in my fight!
I don't care about what others are eating per say or what their doing… (I've had to get use to that)
But its emotionally draining to be around others when I am fighting a battle in my own head about food and then no one else cares about it.
It’s a head thing, its weird because I don't exactly know how I feel just know I am not way motivated. When I am around other people in my life who are struggling and they just throw all of the hard work out the door and sor tof give up, I feel it too.
I've started to become a little unglued in my inspiration of losing, I think it has to do with not having a loss in over 2 weeks. I am not saying I need instant gratification but when I am doing what I am "suppose" to and not losing it drains on my own self esteem. I think it might be too that its that time of the month right now so I just want to eat as opposed to being ok with what I've got...

Maybe the fact that I haven't written anything down over my food issues...that's been bothering me!
I have been "fine" and now I'm not. When does this process fix it self. When does my mind catch up with what I am doing and when does this stop being so hard?

How to convince my brain to stop overeating???

The obvious fact is that all my life I've eaten too much. But why?
Throughout our evolutionary history, food has been scarce, so in order to ensure survival, humans have been conditioned to eat as much as they can whenever food is available.
Unfortunately, when food is abundant and rich in calories, as it is today, the results can be ugly.

~ SO that is an ad for a new product, but it really describes how I feel a lot.
How do I convince my mind I am full before I am SO full???
Got any ideas...

I feel justified

So today I was kind of dreading but also looking forward to my weekly WI. I dreaded it on one hand because I would be disappointed if all my struggling over how the choices in foods I ate while I on vacation didn't work out, meaning I lost nothing or even gained I would feel like I went through all that for nothing.
I was looking forward to it because I know I did really good with portions and I stayed within my guidelines of what I am looking to achieve.
So with my loss of 3 pounds over this last week, well I feel justified for all my actions.
I feel like I am on the right path and I am starting to get this. Even though my mind doesn't always want to cooperate. I don't always want to do whats best for well being because its hard. I want to be like everyone else sometimes. I mean I don't know exactly what that means but if others are just eating like they don't care, sometimes I want to do that too!
But unfortunately for me I have to be very vigilante of what I do because too many slips will send me sliding down the path I don't want to be on. So alas I carry on doing what I know is right for me.

What is wrong in my mind... This is about food of course!

~So why in my mind does one of my very first thoughts about going on vacation turn to food?
~ Why is it that in my excitement I also get all mixed up with achy feelings about food, seriously what the heck is up with me?
Like I get all "oh where can we go eat!"
I'm like thinking about food from the moment we leave.
I try in my mind to plan every meal & snack. I'm a freak almost, at least in my thoughts. (I have never shared these most crazy & personal feelings)
I'm so weird, at times I wonder are other people this excited, curious & crazy about food?
Seriously though sometimes I am all oh let's do this or eat this. I
try very hard not to get too much off track, I try my hardest to be
prepared for what might happen. I think of all my usual hang ups or
hinderances to my success!
~Snacks, I'm equiped with the tools that will keep me on the path
to healthiness. Examples I take lots of fruit... Bananas, apples & I
even pick up others to help me be as successful as possible.
~Munchies, I make sure I have similar items to what others might be
eating. Example being for chocolate, I will bring some fiber one bars!
Or I'll eat something completely different 94% fat free popcorn.
Carrots & Hummus instead of chips.
I do all of things to try and keep myself successful. There are so
many obstecles in my way, it just so hard to predict.
When it comes to being with family or anyone else who just doesn't
care about their own health how can they even be supportive or care
about MINE?

Sometimes the enemy!

So yea too of my favorite things that I do not have complete control over. I mean I LOVE cheese. If its around I usually want it. My solution so far being in the lifestyle change mode is to have Fat Free cheese around or light. I use light laughing cows which are rich and creamy... feels almost like I am cheating!

The bread OMG the bread. What I can't stand anymore is that its put on my table at dinner. I seem to just MINDLESSLY eat it.
How many pieces was that? Oh 3 now. I don't even need the butter when its nice and warm. Sometimes I want the bread, because I have the "extra" calories left in the day to eat it. Most times though I don't want to be tempted by it or even just like I said before mindless eating happens. I know its rather confusing to my friends. Sometimes I am like yea give me bread and then next time I am like keep it away from me like its the plague.
I am a complex girl with FOOD ISSUES! Sorry its so hard to understand me.
So what is it that I can say to my friends... in a nice way, I will not go out to eat with you if we have the bread, chips or cheese biscuits on the table.
Some of my friends don't have a weight issue or even a problem with food or if they do they don't care. So how is that I bring it up when I am sometimes ok with it but other times I feel like i will go running and screaming out the door if its brought to the table!

Today I was told..

I have no right to be so picky! Well all I have to say is I have no apology for how I want to eat. About what I choose to eat, or what I request to eat.
I've done it the other way for a long time. Look how well that went for myself.
Granted a day of less than healthy menu is fine once and a while but for an every day event, its not something I choose to do.
~ There are 100's of birthdays or going away parties or even potlucks in the year!
There are 4-5 meetings a month at my work, but for myself that doesn't give me license to eat off my plan. Off of the new lifestyle I have chosen.
For the last 2 years I have put myself 1st and I can't stop now. I have my whole life to live!